Shrill – Thoughts of mine after watching Hulu’s first episode of the show based loosely on Lindy Wests’ book

I just watched the first episode of Shrill – Hulu’s produced show based (loosely) on Lindy Wests’ book and I cried. Nothing was really that sad – although it all was – because just in the first episode it took almost every self-hating, loathing thing that I’ve been taught to feel towards myself and showed it to me.

So much of what women feel about themselves is influenced by commercialism. People make a lot money making fat people willing to buy products they believe will make them lose weight (but won’t). Models of cute clothes are only shown on skinny women when in actuality those same clothes would look just as cute on plus sized women. It pains me to type plus size. I’m a size. We are all a size. Plus this. Plus that. Fuck plus.

The costume designer for the show, Amanda Needham, had to make many of Aidy Bryant’s clothes from scratch because, “once you get to a certain size, people kidnof want you to disappear.” Needham had to make cute clothes for Bryant (who in real life is a size 18) because they simply did not exist. A pipe dream of mine has been to own a clothing store called “Finally” that specializes in cute and adorable plus-sized clothes. I no longer wish to own a retail store – but I wish there was a store that sold cute clothes for sizes about 14. Better yet – I wish that stores would just sell clothes and not separate sections into misses and plus (now they call it women’s). Just call them clothes!

The lesson here is to be comfortable with ourselves and who we are, and not what other people think of us. The only person that I have to please is me – I want to be a great mom who teachers her boys to love life and other people, I want to be a good partner to my husband and I want to be a positive member of my community who helps make it better. NONE of those things need to be within a certain dress size in order to happen. I know I am these things no matter what size my pants are.

https://www.buzzfeed.com/patricepeck/shrill-aidy-bryant-plus-size-fashion-hulu

Waste Matters.

I was on the radio today – a 30 minute show called “Waste Matters” hosted by Marion County Public works. I was on with a co-worker, Rob, and we talked about Marion Polk Food Share’s mission and how we work it while paying mind to the greenest practices we can and minimize waste. I learned there are different tiers to waste – 1200px-waste_hierarchy.svg

I work at the top of this pyramid- to prevent and minimize. We take our meal counts really seriously and strive to have as few meals left over at distribution as possible. Food waste doesn’t go into the dumpster, it gets fed to pigs thanks to a farmer who’s willing to come pick up the scraps. Finally – energy recovery… our plastic trays (which used to be recyclable but not anymore) are being switched to fiber based ones that will compost rather than fill up a land fill. We use tableware instead of paper plates – dishes, silverware and glasses are washed and ready for next use.

I was honored to be on the show – I’ve never viewed my work much through the lens of waste reduction and now I’m excited to see my work in a new way.

Here’s a link to the show – it will be available on Friday January 11th.

Mel on Waste Matters

Temperance Creek, by Pamela Royes (Review)

Nearly 13 years ago my husband I and spent part of our honeymoon camping trip to Wallowas, Eagle Cap, Imnaha Valley and Hells Canyon. There’s something unique and special there and I couldn’t ever describe it in a way that did it justice – that turned out to be Royes’ job. She describes the land in a way that engages all 5 of your senses – just like you’re there. I don’t want to spoil anything, but I reached for the cider jug too (you’ll know EXACTLY what I mean when you read Temperance Creek).  Two things about her book have had immediate effect on my life – I made a batch of sourdough starter and I regularly order a biscuit with “a tidal wave of butter and jam” in restaurants. I also mentally checked out of my livingroom each time I sat to read leaving my husband and 2 boys to fend for themselves – I was busy herding sheep with Pam and Skip.

Royes’ memoir is about her life as she trusted herself, the land to provide, the people around her (or wisely not trusting them in some cases) and accepting that life is a journey. Her life was a result of her willingness to make decisions about what felt right, listening to her heart and then forging forth accepting the good with the bad in the scope of the bigger picture. It blew me away.  Royes’ knew she was bucking against her upbringing, her faith and maybe her better judgment – but she wanted what she wanted (Skip) and went for it. When it got tough, she hung in there knowing not everything always goes the way you want it – but you can decide in large what you want and accept the pitfalls along the way. She tells of an observation that Skip made early on in their relationship – that with all the interrupted time they’ve spent together – no distractions like phones, cars or job – their relationship is further along than most. That’s compelling – that people who are together and depending on each other nonstop for basic needs and survival (honestly – it was that dire in some cases in their life in the canyon) form a life lasting bond in a rather short period of time. Perhaps that rang a little bit also in when Skip talks about his service in Vietnam and some of the men he was with, I know I’ve heard my dad say similar things about the men he was with there.

Temperance Creek is also about how people, animals and land work together. There’s obvious gripes in here about government land management and I briefly (very briefly) thought maybe there was some insight here into why the Bundy’s helped organize a standoff with federal lands in Southern Oregon. After all, some of Pam and Skip’s friend’s lost their lifestyle because of government land leases and regulations. I’ll just say that the Bundy’s made poor choices how to handle it – no need to get into Malheur here.

What makes Royes’ memoir special and unique is that while her journey and life in the canyon with Skip was an amazing adventure – it is her and Skip’ spirit, not the land, that makes everything special.

Sourdough Starting.

I’m reading Temperance Creek by Pamela Royes, and nearly every breakfast in that book involves sourdough starter – pancakes or biscuits with “tidal waves of butter and jam.” I can’t handle it!

When I was 19 and living back at home with my dad after mom passed away and figuring out what to do with myself (spoiler alert: I didn’t figure that out until about 27) I met a boyfriend’s grandpa who gave me his wife’s 1962 Better Homes and Garden cookbook. I still use the cookbook today. I even crossed paths with him many years post-breakdup and he asked it I still had it and he wanted it back. I told him I’d drop it off at his mom’s house before I left town but I didn’t. In the book was a handwritten sourdough starter recipe. I tried it but never kept it going, plus I didn’t really have access or time enough with a kitchen to nourish it. Royes describes a relationship of patience and trust that has to evolve between the baker and the starter. Ok. Sounds a bit romantic but I’m in search of a new hobby and OMG I love fresh baked bread, especially sourdough. Don’t think I kept the book because I wanted to keep the sourdough starter recipe – I kept it because I didn’t want to give the book back back, and I didn’t want to endure the conversation of telling him I was keeping it. This guy wasn’t my friend anymore – I didn’t owe him anything.

Tonight, at 7:48pm on Saturday October 21, 2017 I started the starter again. Lets see what happens – if it goes well I’ll be sure to tell everyone about it. If it doesn’t, honestly, you’ll probably never hear me bring it up again. It’ll be an adventure.

I’m about halfway through Temperance Creek and its something special. I love Oregon history and this book is plenty of that (Nez Perce and Basque) and its and outdoor adventure story set in Eastern Oregon Hells Canyon, Eagle Cap Wilderness and Wallowas. I’ll review it here when I’m done.

Life is a garden, dig it!

Highland gardens

The Highland Community Garden is on a great plot along Hazel Ave, NE — just blocks from our house. Please join me,  my neighbors, in helping MPFS rebuild and design a garden that will be unique to the Highland Neighborhood. We’ve got an opportunity to start fresh and build something new – don’t miss out! Its important to MPFS that community gardens be special to the neighborhood they are in and serve the area’s individual needs. Be a part of something beautiful and long-lasting!

Guns

About a week ago I posted a link to: http://www.nevadacarry.org/ and said “There is no need for this kindof shit in modern society.” Then Kenneth tried to take over my comment and change my opinion.

Probably the most concerning reply I got from him was: “You should be more concerned with other issues. Over 400,000 people a year die from tobacco related use and nobody gives a shit. “Yeah but smoking is a personal choice” thats right it is. So is carrying/owning a firearm and 11,000 people die from firearms murders a year but somehow this is way more concerning than cigarettes. Not to mention it is a conditionally recognized right as well as the right as a human being to protect your own life and the lives of your family”

I was going to just let this one go, trusting that Kenneth had proved my points about Nevada’s weapons laws enough just by the way he said what he said – as well as how he addressed those he disagreed with. But I couldn’t let his comments just sit on my page like that. This is my page! Here is a modified version of my response (modified because I don’t have the original content of the post here and it wouldn’t make a lot of sense if I just cut and pasted. it.

Kenneth asked what I was so scared of — menacing and modifiying weapons are a crime. OK, I guess that means people won’t commit them then? Most charges don’t deter criminals from committing them. If a woman is being threatened and menaced by her boyfriend, often the police say they can’t do anything until something happens anyways. Criminals obtain weapons and modify them because they can – not because they’re scared of breaking a law. Maybe if criminals were more concerned with laws then people wouldn’t feel the need to swear they need a gun to protect themselves. If guns were harder to get there would be less crimes committed with them. The latter is the answer.

I’m not willing to gamble anymore on the idea that the time I may need a gun to protect myself is worth the damage that everyone having them right now is doing. I’m also not willing to accept that everyone will continue to have that right because the NRA funds GOP in a such a way that they think they can’t do without their money. Everyone who is pro-gun seems to be so in entirely selfish ways. Your needs are not bigger than mine – my need is to feel safe, my need is to not have to think about if there are guns in the house that my kid visits to play with his friend, my need is to not have to accept that my school age children will need to practice drills for active shooter situations. My needs are not selfish – my need is for the basic right to feel safe in my community and in the country I live in.

Its time for gun laws to be argued for as hard and as vehemently as you and those like you argue to keep them. You and the people who argue like you are the kind of people I feel absolutely terrified about having guns in public. III%’s, Oregunians, Private Militias, Don’t Tread on Me’s – you all need to stop. We live in a modern society and guns have been abused to the point where a few have ruined it for the everyone else. That lesson was hardest learned in kindergarten.

Can I get a gold tooth?

Jack Snapchat

This kid. He’s 5. And that’s a snapchat filter, not a real picture – but I think it is adorable and funny, just like him.

Last night I told Jack that I was going to make him a dentist appointment and he said, “Why, so I can get a gold tooth?” Seriously? Yes. The dentist appointment needs to happen for school registration.

So this picture – besides being cute and funny is also what a kid with strep throat looks like. I had no idea strep could be so sneaky and fly under the radar – I got a call from the lab today that his culture came back positive. I left my meeting, went to the pharmacy and picked up the penicillin and then went and picked him up from school. It makes a little bit of sense – he’s been crabby lately and not listening well (his teacher confirmed this when I talked to her today, sorry Carrie). It all started with some vomiting about a week ago, then he seemed OK. Then he got a rash late last week and we took him to urgent care and came home with comfort knowing it was just likely a reaction to the virus that caused the vomiting. The urgent care doc considered giving him a strep test but because he didn’t complain of a sore throat she didn’t. Friday night Justin noticed that Jack’s knees and ankles were a little swollen – but Jack didn’t complain of any symptoms. Saturday morning Jack’s feet were so swollen it hurt him to walk – so back to urgent care and again, it was a reaction to the virus. To be safe they did a strep test and it was negative. Today I got a call that the culture had grown positive and he needed penicillin. Frustrating.

Kids are animals, man.